Chapter 3 – Quinoa

CYOA, Writing

Note:  Thank you so much all my readers for voting and commenting with such encouragement!  The votes for last week are as follow:

  1. IIII votes
  2. 0 votes
  3. IIII votes

We have a draw!  I do agree with the voters that these are the most likely and relevant options for the current generation, a take I aim to portray. Option A was the option of which I planned to work with as seen in the novel’s overview.

However, option c seems to have an interesting and relevant take, portraying the character to have the typical attitude of a teenager suffering from FOMA (fear of missing out) and attending a party she was made aware of through Facebook, the consequence not worth the negligence in popularity. Since the vote was a tie, I decided to run with option one, however incorporate aspects of option 3! Enjoy!

*****

Anatashia Lockwood: Gurl watchu doin?

NinjaGirl: Sleepin. Sittin. Livin.

Anatashia Lockwood: Gurl. Ma gut is cryin! U got 1 sad life.

NinjaGirl: …thx “bestay”

Anatashia Lockwood: Imma gonna help u get. a. life. Nathan hostiin a partay 9.00 at northstreeet pub. U need to come gurl! Do it 4 u. and me. Don’t wanna be seen with u when u don’t even come to Nathan – the most popula guy in school’s partay. Plz galpal. Say YES!!!!

NinjaGirl: Um… I can’t… res…ist…don’t…do this…to me!!! Fine. I’ll come – 9.00. How could I miss out? 1 word is wat that would be: embarrassing… ;D

My eyes flicker between the breaches of reality and my digital paradise, abbreviated slang appearing on the screen as my nimble fingers glide across the keyboard. I watch as they type an automated response – the reaction any “usual” teenager would expect to such an invitation. An invitation that cannot – should not be overlooked, without the person jeopardizing what is labelled as their “social rating.” I shouldn’t care about my “popularity”. But I do.

The disappointment formed within me evolves into the convergence of various hormonal emotions. I should not have agreed to attend “Nathan’s” party – I’m above that, above the usual teenage influences and attractions…

The iridescence my eyes usually possess dulls as I stare at the predetermined words. Shortly after an agonizing flight, my head begins to throb rhythmically as a tedious mauve vastness suddenly threatens to scald my retinas.I have departed for the day, the motion sickness extreme, unbearable.

Fresh morning air is what I need. The clammy warmth of my room lingers as I thrust my shutters open, a crisp wind sweeping and incinerating any humidity. A golden haze seems as though it has been respired throughout the atmosphere, resting and illuminating the street with an ochre glow. My world is ethereal for 27 seconds, before I am awoken from the temporary stupor by my mother’s squeal.

A series of profanities precedes the attention-seeking explanation for my mother’s anger.

Quinoa! How on earth could I have forgotten QUINOA!” I flinch as what sounds like a plate is thrust to the floor, the result of her temperament. I manage to recover the names of my sister and I amongst the babble.

“Audrey! Daphne – quinoa from Aldi. Now. Every packet in stock.” I stare at the porcelain shards scattered hazardously across the tiles of our kitchen, my mother’s cheeks flushed with frustration.

Little did she know the consequence her impatience would bring.

I watch mockingly as Daphne draws a misshaped silver coin from her pocket. My mother fumes with rage as her daughter’s intentions are revealed.

“Heads.” She ejaculates as the coin is tossed through the air…

*****

I slump into the comforting fabric of my sister’s Mini as she spins the key, jerking the motor to life. The imprint of my mother’s victory fades as I glance at Daphne, barely clothed by a threadbare jersey and tight-fitting jeans. Her hair lies in a bundled mess, twisted messily into a bun. Nothing unusual… is my assumption, until our eyes encounter one another’s.

Concaving circles penetrate her eye contour, sinking miserably and allowing her low cheekbones prominence. Her eyelids droop, little resistance barely exposing the cloudy hazel pigment of her eyes, dappled with red veins that surge through the whiteness. I feel my brow furrow as concern for my sister intensifies. I will purchase the quinoa, we shall drive home and she will sleep. Rest. Rejuvenate.

That’s what would have been, had my sister not taken her daily sedatives not ten minutes prior. The sedatives that should have only taken effect an hour later, but didn’t… Flickering shut for not 5 seconds, my sister’s eyes lose sight of their surroundings, her brain powerless over her actions. I notice this too late. My reaction is delayed and I simply watch as the car swerves towards an oak.

Daphne crashed the car. All because we picked heads.

I do hope you enjoyed this week’s installment of Saving Audrey! Here are this week’s options!

  1. Daphne crashes the car (as in Chapter 2) and emergency services surround the Mini. As Daphne and Audrey are hauled to safety, Audrey wakes up to discover her sister has died from severe head trauma.

2. Subsequent to crashing the car (as in Chapter 2) Audrey and Daphne are rushed to hospital, Daphne remaining comatose for several weeks.

3. After the crash, Daphne and Audrey are dashed to the nearest hospital, Audrey awakening to her sister lying in the bed beside her, one million machines connected to her body. She comes to learn that her sister is suffering from severe amnesia.

Thanks for your support and let me know what you would like to happen below!

Olivia, writing on a whim…

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21 thoughts on “Chapter 3 – Quinoa

  1. Dear Olivia,
    That was a magnificent piece of writing, it had great detail and a hook on end that just wants me to know more…. I would choose option 3 because I would like to see what happen to Daphne and what would she react like to Audrey and her family with amnesia.
    I love your writing
    Mia

    Like

    1. Dear Mia,
      Thanks a lot! I do try to keep the readers entertained and engaged. Yes, option 3 certainly would be interesting. The impact on her family would also be severe!
      Thanks, Olivia

      Like

  2. And all because her mother wanted some quinoa, for what purpose we are not told, fabulous Olivia. Quirky yet sad, a satisfying read. I vote for option 3, as I think you still have some excellent character development to entertain your readers. I wonder how her mother will react.

    Mrs Miller

    Like

  3. Hi Olivia,
    You are an amazing writer. You add so much depth to your writing. You could certainly become an author. I vote option 1.
    Great job!
    Elvira.

    Like

    1. Dear Elvira,
      Thank you so much for your lovely comment! I don’t know if “author” is the path for me, however I do agree with you that option 1 would be… interesting… to incorportate into my story! I’d love to see your blog.
      Olivia

      Like

  4. Dear Olivia,
    I am Anastasia. Your writing captured me from the very beginning. I want to know more! I vote option 1. I love your story so far.
    Anastasia

    Like

  5. Hi Olivia!
    Such an interesting chapter you have wrote! You always write so well and your story is just really great to read.
    I vote option 1!
    -Peri

    Like

  6. Hi Olivia,
    I love your story and I found the writing at the start was very effective. You used many well thought out descriptive words that enhanced your readers attention. Your story line was a great choice and that made it a pleasure to read. I vote for option 3 because I think that it would cause the most havoc with relatives and friends rushing to the hospital to check if Audrey and Daphne are okay. I can’t wait to read chapter 4 because I know that with your creative and imaginative skills that it will be amazing.
    Rachel.

    Like

    1. Hi Rach,
      Thank you so much for your lovely comment! Yes, I think the vote will certainly be between Option 1 and 3. They seem to be most popular. I am torn between the two, but don’t mind either way! It will be fun to write the chapter! Thanks so much!
      Liv

      Like

  7. Hi Olivia,
    Your writing is so intense and descriptive! I loved reading your chapter. I choose option 3, because I’m interested to see how you would write that. This theme reminds me of “If I Stay”, by Gale Forman – as the main characters relive the experience of their car accident.
    Great work!
    Darcey
    darceyw21.edublogs.org

    Like

    1. Hi Darc,
      Thank you – you are certainly an inspiration! I have heard of ‘If I Stay’, however have not read it. I will be interested to do this! It sounds intriguing… Thanks for your comment!
      Liv

      Like

  8. Hi Olivia.
    I am Hazel from San Francisco.
    I love your posts. They are always so fun to read. I vote for option 1. Well done. This was a good story with lots of description. I love it.
    Hazel.

    Like

  9. Hi Olivia,
    I am John, and I own a WordPress blog as well. Lovely writing! I love your while idea of the car crash. I vote for option 1. Great writing!

    Like

  10. Hi Liv,
    Your story is amazing! You used a great amount of descriptive words and sentences. I vote for option one. Even though I don’t want her sister to die, I think it would add more effect to your story. or possibly everyone just thinks that she is dead…….
    Keep blogging!
    -Elspeth

    Like

  11. Hi Liv,
    Your story is extremely descriptive and intense! Great gripping and fantastic story Liv so far! You used many descriptive words except not to many otherwise it would be a bit too descriptive and great story so far and Can’t wait to read more. I vote for option 3 because I think that would be the best option. Keep up the great and fantastic work Liv!
    Keep Writing and Blogging,
    Chloe

    Like

  12. Hi Liv

    I enjoyed your use of digital slang – almost a completely different language! It drew me into the next chapter of your story immediately. I vote for option 3. Daphne’s amnesia may bring her temporary relief from her insomnia and general unhappiness. I think it opens up a few new chapters to your storyline. I look forward to reading more of your interesting story. Keep us guessing Liv!

    Nat S

    Like

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